Friday, February 1, 2013

RJD - Where Is God?


Random Journal Day description and link-up found at Beneath The Surface: Breath of Faith.

My journal opened to August 31, 1999. 
On the pages I am describing a morning chat I had with the Hubs. It was in a season when we got up extra early every morning and drove to the church sanctuary to pray for an hour before beginning our day. 

After returning to our house I was heading to go take a shower and Hubs suggested we sit with our coffee and talk a bit first. He asked me if I was OK. Tears filled my eyes as I whispered that I had not felt God's presence for two days and it scared me.

This wonderful man that I married laughed at me! He gently said, "Susie, you used to go for weeks and months without feeling Him and it didn't bother you then. This just shows how much closer you are to Him now. And this morning at the church you worshiped Him anyway. I think that God delights in the worship that comes in the middle of hard times even more than the easy worship. That is true faith!"

I instantly felt better.

In those days we had a strong emphasis on the tangible "feeling" of God's presence. It was a physical sense of His closeness and we loved it more than anything else in our lives. Sometimes I did not want to leave the sanctuary for hours on end because that warm and comforting presence was so overwhelming and delicious. 

God was teaching us about Himself and letting us taste His unconditional love. He graciously allowed us to know what it felt like to be enveloped by his presence and goodness. We learned to carry that sense with us out into "the world". But my greatest happiness was inside the sanctuary alone with him. 

Today I know His closeness in a different way. It is not as physical or tangible, but just as real and true. Now I walk with the knowledge that God is close to me at all times whether I feel Him or not. It is simply a fact of life. 

A truth. 
A reality.

But I do not take it for granted. 

I am thankful for the moments when I just know that someone must be praying for me because I feel a sudden rush of being loved, or contentment that I did not feel the moment before. Maybe He simply lifts the earthly barrier or clears our eyes to see what is already there all the time. I don't know. But those small glimpses of God are to be treasured and cherished. 

No, I do not take them for granted.

God is here. He is close to me in this moment. 
God is close to you in this moment.

Savor that truth. Take a deep breath and know that the God of the universe is near you right now. 


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19 comments:

  1. Yes Yes Yes! Thank you for this today, my friend!

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  2. Your husband's words were very wise, how you used to not feel His presence for weeks or months and then that day you had missed feeling that for only a few days, showing how your faith had grown. He is always near us, even those who don't know Him.

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    1. Very true Terra. My hubs can be wise when he is not making a wise-crack! I like your reminder that God is also near those who do not know Him. I sometimes wonder how this feels to him.

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  3. Such a tender moment...captured forever in your journal. I love this, don't you? I love being able to look back and see how we've grown...(or how we've regressed? Not really). God has been with us all the way...His presence is Always with us inside and many times outside as well...we just don't always have our eyes open to see...but He's there anyway. Thank you for sharing this today.

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    1. Yes, one of the best things about journaling are the tiny moments that would have been forgotten otherwise. Thanks for commenting, my friend.

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  4. Hi Susie, I love this. i love looking back and reading old journals and realizing where I was, and where God has brought me... OR sometimes... where I was and I'm still there. So true that he's with us even when I can't feel Him.

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    1. True, sometimes the look back can be depressing when we see that we are asking the exact same questions and complaining about the same stuff! So glad that god is much more patient with than we are.

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  5. The powerful thing about this for me is that my not-yet-believing son says what keeps him from believing is that he's NEVER felt the presence of God. We talk often about how it faith isn't a matter of feeling, but in the end, he still comes back to wanting to feel/experience God personally. And I trust that as you learned it by growing up in your faith--not so much, then all the time, and now trusting Him in a different way--so will my son.

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    1. It is so tough to watch our kids as they try to find God for themselves. I so want to "make it happen" for them, but we can't. The hunger to feel God is a prayer to him even though they may not know it. And God will answer that prayer in His time.

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  6. You have a wise husband. I'm still learning that feelings don't equal truth. Just because we don't FEEL close to Him doesn't mean we are.

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    1. I do have a wise husband, yes. He is always able to see the big picture while I see the immediate or small picture. But both are needed and we help one another to see the whole picture.

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  7. This is so touching. I think your hub and mine would get along. I am so intense and sometimes when I get in a desert place and think that there is no water...he laughs and I really don't want to kill him. lol. It's like his perspective brings levity and needed proper perspective. ANyway this is beautifully tender and humorously real. I wish we lived closer.

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    1. I would love to live closer to you Dawn. I agree, our hubs would get along fine I think. As long as they do not discuss work! haha!

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  8. I REALLY needed this today. Right now. Thank you, Susie.

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  9. Very good reminder that our relationship with God changes over time, yet He remains the same loving, faithful Father and Friend. I, too, enjoyed how your husband helped your perspective, but I also was touched at how he asked if you were OK? Beautiful friendship and love in a marriage always warms my heart!

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All comments are good comments!

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