Thursday, August 8, 2013

You Know THAT Day?



You know that day when you have the "reds" as mentioned in Breakfast at Tiffany's?  

Not the blues, but the reds. Everything feels wrong, kind of OFF, kind of mean. 

The body is sluggish and the brain is fuzzy.

You silently tell people off in your head all day.

Every picture on Facebook makes you grumble

and you talk back to the inspirational quotes?

THAT day?

You wonder how you could ever have said this and this with so much confidence.

Because sensing that God is your best friend

and knowing WITHOUT A DOUBT that He actually cares about your little stupid stuff

feels pretty silly and naive.

THAT day

or week or year?

Bed is not a refuge because the brain WILL NOT STOP CHURNING.

A movie helps because you can get lost in the story and characters and their problems

instead of your own for a bit.

But the ending credits alert your mind that it time to go back to the garbage again.

Every. Single. Thing bugs you.....That squawking bird outside right now! Shut up!

THAT day, THIS day

Does not alter that God is still who I said He was back here and here.

It is true even when it does not feel true and I can not see it and I barely believe it.

That's why this whole relationship with God thing involves the word FAITH. 

On days like today

FAITH is all I have. Hoping, trusting, wishing. Wanting it to be true.

My head hurts, my heart hurts...am I tired.

No, nothing big or bad just happened...just tired.

Weary, weak, wondering and tired of wondering.

BUT HE.

GOD. He must be better than we have described Him. There must be more to the picture

because what I have heard, read and written about Him is not enough. 

Faith. My faith....is in Someone bigger than we have presented to ourselves.

ONE who knows about all of humanity's crisis at the same time He knows that I have the reds today.

I have faith He is real. I have faith that He knows and cares. 

And that He is okay with my questions, doubts and wonderings. 

This BIGGER God than we have imagined

is not worried about my question marks or disappointed in this blog post

that sounds so unsure.

THAT day when you wonder what is true and what is just a hope,

THAT day, HE loves me anyway. And even if this post makes no sense to anyone else,

HE gets it. 

And He smiles. It's gonna be Okay. 



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21 comments:

  1. We ALL have those days. God understands us anyway. And He loves us anyway. Any day. Red days or blue days, or sunny yellow days. He is always there for us. It's ok to come unglued once in awhile. We know WHO puts us back together again.
    Thanks for being real. That's why I enjoy knowing you so much. You aren't afraid to be real. To be YOU. The YOU God made you to be.
    Thank you for sharing your red day with me. (((hugs))) to you. You can hug me back on MY red day...if I have the courage to tell you about it.
    :)

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    1. Thanks Pamela, I'll accept that hug. When I feel like I am not worthy to write in a "faith" blog then I question who I am saying I am anyway. We are a mixed bag, the good, bad and ugly. So here I is.

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  2. I know those days...but I thought you may have been beyond them! He shines through you even on THOSE kinds of days. Love you.

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    1. Don't you dare say anyone is "beyond them". That's when it gets scary. The cruds are real and ugly but temporary. I have been around long enough to know that at least. Love you too!

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  3. I have faith that He knows and cares, oh yes. Our God is a big God.

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    1. Hi Terra, He is so much bigger than we know, isn't He?

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  4. 'You silently tell people off in your head all day.

    Every picture on Facebook makes you grumble

    and you talk back to the inspirational quotes'

    Susie Klein -- how did you get inside of my head???!!!

    I have too many of these days. Thanks for helping to put it all into perspective.

    Love you, gal!
    Pam

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    1. Ha! Pam, you are welcome. Maybe I felt at home in your head because it is similar to mine.

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  5. I could not love this post any more than I do! It speaks truth and love and the GREAT MYSTERY that is so far beyond our comprehension. From one red letter day woman to another..... xoxo!

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    1. Anna, your brutal honesty continues to be an inspiration to me. The way you share your deep pain and how it intertwines with the day to day joys of life with your surviving child leave me speechless and determined to be honest at even the ugly times. Thank you for your words, they mean so much to me Anna.

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  6. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Thatday. Yeah...I have THAT day every week. It somehow slips in when I least expect it. But, like you, I don't give up. I keep the faith. Faith strengthens when it's all you have to hold onto.

    Thanks for the post!

    M.L. Swift, Writer

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  7. "It is true even when it does not feel true and I can not see it and I barely believe it." Amen, and thank God he doesn't change even when we fluctuate day to day - especially on THAT day!

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  8. (o) That's representative of a BIG LONG HUG from 2,000+ miles away. I get ya!

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  9. This is what we need to keep hearing. Of course, we can beat ourselves up for needing to hear it. But deep down, I hope, we know it's OK.

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  10. I wrote a beautiful , long comment to this post and then Blogger being Blogger it was gone.
    The Sad's will never defeat you, us Suzie- they are the stepping stones to higher learning, higher perception, greater truth and wisdom.
    We can only progress through the pain of days like this and our reward is happiness and insight.
    Sending you all the strength of a Universe full of loving, giving and opportunities to learn.
    The Sad's are the days to stay quiet and introspective, they are but a tunnel leadning out to the light.
    My love always sweet sister.
    The Sad's never win in the end.

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    1. Thank you Lisa, it couldn't have been more beautiful than this comment. Thank you for these wonderful words! I agree completely.

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  11. Oh friend, you are worthy to write on a faith blog. I love your honesty and transparency. It truly helps believers to keep moving forward when once such as you shares their struggles. You aren't alone. May He encourage your heart today.

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  12. Oh Susie, I have many days like that. Usually a noticeable one week out of the month, but none-the-less. I call them my Angry Women days. I get all gnarly and growling inside and feel like Elvis with a permanent sneer on my lips. It ain't pretty. I try hot bath therapy and mediation therapy and hiking in nature therapy. Or sometimes I just grumble and scare the family folk. They are not fun days, clenched up inside.

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  13. Oh.My.Goodness. Having JUST had a ''red'' day yesterday, I so very much needed to read this post today! What a blessing ! I "accidentally" found your blog while scrolling through some comments on the blog of another woman I did not know who had left a comment on MY blog this morning! ha No ''accident''! God brought me here I'm sure! Gonna bookmark your page so I can visit on a regular basis!
    God bless you!

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    1. AAh! And it is no accident that I got to read such a wonderful comment today...from a blog posted weeks ago! Yay and thank you for letting me know that it hit the spot! Now I'm going to go visit your blog Marilyn and I hope you come back and see me often! (If you subscribe by email, my posts will arrive in your mailbox!)
      Susie

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All comments are good comments!

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