This recovering church lady did a really dumb thing today. I randomly opened a journal for Random Journal Day and found myself reading these words...
"You are MY woman of God." I thanked Him for saying that to me tonight and I mulled it over.
It was a beautiful thing to hear from Him, humbling and encouraging.
But not enough, (arrogant much?) so I asked, "If that is true, why don't I FEEL strong and full of authority? Please will you anoint me and imbue (church lady language, Haha!) me with power to minister to others?"
God answered , "It is not you or your authority that ministers to people, it is Me and My authority. You must only trust that you are My woman of God."
This conversation was overwhelming and humbling. I cried and cried and tried to hear anything more He would say to me."
Opening my journal was not the dumb thing that I did. That came next. I googled this question..."Does God speak to people today?"
Why did I do that? Because I am afraid of making waves, causing controversy or inviting ridicule...mostly that last one I think. I already know the answer from my own experience. I recognize that quiet voice in my head and my heart. I know when the words I am "hearing" are not my own. It is a humbling and delightful thing.
The google list was scary, depressing and kind of awful. A summarization would be: After all, if we accept that anyone can hear from God in this day and age, it will lead to leaders of mass suicides, terrorists and murderers who all say that "God told them" to do it.
So I hesitated and considered choosing a different journal page to write about. BUT, I have not changed my mind about the subject at all. I have dropped a lot of my old stuff from my church lady days. These would include being judgmental of others and a goofy fear of sinning accidentally.
Still, one of the beliefs that I have NOT dropped is that God is still talking to people today. He has spoken to me more than once...The first BIG ONE was while I was reading an abusive letter from a boyfriend. I "heard" God say, "You do not deserve this treatment." I KNEW immediately that this thought was not my own because I did not believe that about myself at all. I broke off my engagement to that boyfriend that night. Only the voice of God could have opened my eyes to that negative relationship.
It had to be God.
We cannot allow the majority to decide our beliefs. Going to google helped me know what is being said by others, but the majority can be wrong. We must walk our own truth. While I am open to new thoughts, opinions and views, I also must be strong enough to stand by what I have figured out for myself.
I have to trust that I know what I know. That I heard what I heard and felt what I felt.
So... I have not even touched on the awesome message that He gave me that day. That I do not have to FEEL strong to BE strong. That we can carry His power and authority by simply trusting that we are His. That YOU are His. How cool is that?
|Enjoyed my first time living in snow! Kinda magical!|
|This was Layla's preferred view of the white stuff.|
|Sadly, I don't think Irving is going to make it after all. :(|
|Random Journal Day Link-Up!|
Pin It Like this? Don't forget to SHARE...